Blooteefool

I posted this on Kawaii Heavens Group Blogs, but I decided to post it here as well….

Btw… A little warning since I’m probably pissed off at the moment… and I’m gonna use some really nasty words on my blog… if you don’t want to read any rants about death… stop reading now…

LIFE IS SOOO FUCKING SHORT… Anyone could die at any given time… at any given moment, wherever, however, who ever’s with you… it doesn’t matter and you weren’t even expecting it would happen just like that…

My life right now is surrounded by deaths of my relatives… since last year, around August… 4 relatives of mine had passed away~ 3 uncles — 1 is my mom’s younger brother who took care of me and my brother when we were small… it was unexpected because he was one of the youngest brother of my mom… and he had a cardiac attact as well as 1 of my dad’s cousin and another one who happened to had an accident on a riverside… He went there for a swim, and slipped and hit his head on the rocks… Both are close relatives of ours as well…

The worst incident was my 17 year old cousin… Tragic death… Was murdered a few days ago by her fucking drug addict boyfriend in an apartment 16 hrs drive away from here, and she was supposed to graduate high school yesterday and she was also planning to celebrate her debut (18th Birthday) on November… She had her future taken away from her by a fucking asshole who ruined everyone’s happiness… Her parents, siblings and close relatives was devastated and it also left me shocked for a couple of days… I couldn’t believed it when I heard the news from my brother… I didn’t believe it at first… I heard the news this Wednesday, and I was like… “Ok… Is this real? Is this true”… Hours passed… My dad came home from my relatives house to pay respects… He told me about it again… I still couldn’t believe it… I meant who would’ve thought my cousin who lives just less than 10mins drive away from us would be a victim of murder?! For fuck’s sake! This is “murder” we’re talking about, not just some everyday accident… which would’ve been better and a little more acceptable than a fucking death by the hands of a fucking drug addict!!! I hope he fucking die a horrible death and I wish the fucking electric chair or gallows are still legal… I wish that they would torture him and make him suffer for the rest of his fucking life!

The next day… my dad brought the day’s newspaper and well… after I read the incident there… it hit me… gave me a big slap on the face and it fucking tells me… “Wake up~ here’s the truth! You can’t avoid it”… *sigh* She wasn’t really a “close close” cousin, but close enough to feel this terrible… She was cool and I like her… We even used to play together before and we always go to their house and them to ours whenever there’s a holiday celebration… She and her siblings always thought of me as a “big sister” … and when I saw them last night when I came to pay my respects… I felt so terrible, I couldn’t explain it… At some point tears would fell from my eyes… but I just couldn’t stand funerals… it’s so depressing and I’m one of those people you could say that’s “tired of crying”… and I would like to avoid that… but right now, it’s pretty unavoidable… I could only imagine how painful it is to her parents and her siblings…

I was surprised though last night that we we’re able to laugh while talking about some things at their house… and I’m pretty sure her parents were just shocked and still couldn’t accept the truth… yet… and they probably still thinks that she’s still around and that she’s gonna come pop right back up anytime… I wish that would’ve been the case… I can understand them though… It is really painful to lose someone you really loved…. it’s devastating to even think that they’re gone for good… but I admired them for being so strong and not have a breakdown while sitting there talking about her past and her pictures all over the house… the usual pleasant smell of a bunch of flowers gathered together there became so depressing instead… If it was me… I would’ve probably end up in a hospital because my heart would just stop at the moment they’re telling me about the incident… I just couldn’t imagine it…

In the span of a year… I’ve known around 6-7 people whom I’ve met before had died… =_=; What bad luck huh? *sigh* A nice birthday present for me… =_=;; *sigh*